


Misunderstandings Of The Queerest Kind

by RichardGraysonPercyJackson



Series: The Acrobat and The Mercenary [52]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: : P, Bludhaven Police Department, Dick Grayson is Bisexual, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, How Do I Tag This, M/M, Not Cheating, Slade Wilson is straight, and dick, but gay for Dick, he is not, sexuality discussions, straight assumptions, they assume Dick is straight, they think he is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27805507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichardGraysonPercyJackson/pseuds/RichardGraysonPercyJackson
Summary: The BPD thinks Dick is straight. Like, hella straight.Slade proves them hella wrong.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson
Series: The Acrobat and The Mercenary [52]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1323779
Comments: 52
Kudos: 362





	Misunderstandings Of The Queerest Kind

**Author's Note:**

> This idea totally comes from AddMoreLag and It was just absolutely the best idea ever so I had to write and update it INSTANTLY

Richard Grayson is Gotham’s golden child so if he’s being honest, Andrew’s not really sure what Grayson is doing working at the Bludhaven Police Department.

Then there’s his ring. He’s obviously got money, obviously married - the ring is _huge_ , no doubt costs a fortune - so he _has_ to be wealthy which begs a bigger question of why he’s there. It’s bigger because if he’s so rich, why’s he working as a beat cop?

Grayson doesn’t have any personal memorabilia on his desk but no one’s really sure why, because if you ask him about his family he could talk for _hours_. Eh seems like the type to keep pictures of his brother’s in his wallet yet there’s not a single picture of them on his desk.

Or his wife. Because he’s...alright, he’s attractive. Andrew’s straight, but he’s not stupid or blind. Grayson is attractive and obviously _married_ and yet he doesn’t have a single picture of her on his desk.

Andrew wonders why but he never asks cause it’s not his business. Besides, Grayson already has every other officer at the precinct crowding around and asking questions, he doesn’t need another.

…………………………….

It’s early Friday morning when he gets his answer as to why Grayson doesn’t have any pictures of his wife.

He walks by the other’s desk and can’t help noticing how exhausted Grayson looks, like he didn’t get any sleep. Originally he’d just debated walking on and minding his own business but, well…

Grayson _is_ sort of his...friend? He’s the only reason Andrew still has his job, the least Andrew could do is call and make sure he’s alright.

“Hey Grayson,” Andrew said, walking over. Grayson twitches - he obviously didn’t hear him approach - before lifting his head, looking exhausted.

“Hey Andrew,” he greets, leaning back in his seat and looking...Andrew said exhausted already, right? Is dead a better word? “What’s up?”

“You look…” _like shit._ “Bad.”

Grayson chuckled. “Fine, just up late last night,” he replied. “Couldn’t sleep, that’s all.”

“Sorry about that.” Andrew scans his desk, frowns when he only sees paperwork and a half eaten bagel. “No coffee?”

Grayson groans. “I was running late, totally forgot about it,” he replied.

And then one of their coworkers - who was absolutely, definitely eavesdropping - saunters over to shove Andrew aside - they all hate him - as he says,

“Why don’t you call your wife and have her bring it!” he beams.

Grayson frowns. “What?”

“Grayson, the ring on your finger _obviously_ means you’re married,” the other officer says with a roll of his eyes. “And she’s probably super fucking hot,r ight? And it’s totally such an expensive ring, there’s no way she has a job.”

“Johnson…” there’s a warning tone in Grayson’s voice. Although maybe not warning, maybe...uneasy.

“Come _on_ , man, just call her and ask her to bring you some coffee,” Johnson insists. “We swear we won’t hit on her, just…” he groaned. “We’ve all been _dying_ to see her! A hot piece of ass like yourself, you’re _totally_ bangign a hot chick.”

There’s something in Dick’s eyes, in the very small smile Andrew can barely see, that makes it seem like Grayson finds something funny. Like there’s a _joke_ to the conversation, except he’s the only one in on it.

“Well,” he finally consents. “I _do_ want coffee.”

“So?” Johnson beams. “Call her!”

So Grayson does. He doesn’t use a name or pronouns, just calls and asks for coffee and says thanks and I love you and that’s that.

“Well?” Johnson asks. “When will she be here?”

“SOon,” Dick replied. “Ten, fifteen miutes.”

“Gotta make herself pretty for ya, huh?”

Grayson merely laughs.

………………………….

Andrew’s working front desk on the paperwork when a shadow falls over him and he looks up to see-

“Holy fuck,” Andrew whispers. The man standing before him is the tallest fucking person he’s ever seen in his goddamn _life_ and he works with Dick fucking Grayson who’s five foot ten. But this man, dear _god_ , he is taller than _Grayson_ even, definitely cresting six foot if Andrew had to guess, maybe even taller than that.

He’s dressed in a button down white shirt with sleeves rolled to his elbows and fucking _god_ his msucles are as big as Andrew’s head. His white hair is tied back in a tail and he’s wearing a black eye patch to match his black dress shoes and slacks, holding a cup of coffee.

Andrew knows he;’s staring but jesus fucking christ, Andrew’s only ever seen criinals who look like this.

“I’m here to see Officer Grayson,” the man says, voice a low baritone that has just a hint of intimidation in it that makes Andrew want to piss himself. The way the man says that title, too, is like he’s mocking it. Making fun of it, like it’s some sort of joke.

“I, uh, um.”

“He’s expecting me.”

Andrew swallowed thickly. “R-right, um…” he’s staring before clearing his throat and standing. “F-follow me.”

Should he be leading a man - who looks like he hunts _humans_ for _sport_ \- through the precinct to one of their officers? Probably not. But Andrew is also fucking terrified for his life and is afraid that police department or not, this man might still shoot him in the head if he doesn’t give him what he wants.

He knows there’s stares - for once directed to the hulking beast of a man behind him instead of him - as they head to Grayson’s desk and Andrew’s hands start sweating and all he can think is that Grayson knows this man and there’s not actually about to be a shootout.

They get to Grayson’s desk - his head lowered as he works on paperwork and doesn’t see them - and before Andrew can even nervously clear his throat, the big ass bear behind him steps up to Grayson’s desk, setting the coffee down and placing a hand on Grayson’s back.

Andrew tenses and he knows the officer’s watching and surrounding them are ready for a fight. But the man doesn’t attack and all they can do is stare as the man - completely unaware or uncaring of their audience - says,

“Coffee, pretty bird.”

Andrew freezes cause oh _god_ , this man might actually be a sexual predator about to molest Grayson. But then Grayson turns and fucking _smiles_ as he said,

“Hey, thanks.”

And then, as if that’s not fucking the worst thing, the bear man leans down and _kisses_ Grayson before standing back up and saying,

“What time do you go on lunch break?”

"Three."

“Good. I’ll pick you up. I want to take you to lunch.”

Grayson smiles. “What for?”

The man kisses him again - on the cheke this time. “I love you.”

You can hear a pin drop in the precinct. Grayson doesn’t notice and instead rolls his eyes and says the most casual,

“I love you too.”

And then bear-man is gone and Grayson starts to go back to his paperwork as though he didn’t just kiss a man in front of his co-workers. Except he seems to realize he’s being watched so he looks up, makes eye contact with Andrew, and then looks around before his gaze lands on Johnson and he asks,

“What?”

“Holy shit,” Johnson whispers. “Does your wife know?”

Grayson blinked. “Know what?”

“That you’re giving sexual favors for a man as big as a house and at least three times your age?”

Grayson looks in the direction the man left, frowning, before a laugh bubbles up and he bursts out into full giggles, only calming down after a few minutes though he still looked like he might laugh.

“Ah, I see,” he said, still smiling. “There’s been a misunderstanding.”

“Misunderstanding?” Johnson asked.

Grayson grinned, pointing after bear-man as he said, “ _that_ is my husband.”

Andrew can’t breathe but he still manages to gasp out, “ _What_?”

“What, you guys thought I was straight?” Grayson asks. “No, that’s my husband. We’ve been married about three years now.”

He’s met with silence until finally, “Your husband is a fucking _beast_ ,” Johnson spits out.

Grayson laughs loudly.

………………………………..

“Apparently the guys at work have thought I was straight and had a wife,” Dick remarks when he gets home and starts taking off his shoes. Slade looks him over before grunting and remarking,

“With that ass? I don’t think so.”

Dick snorts. “I almost said that, too,” he said, chuckling. “But the COmmissioner came out to yell at everyone to get back to work so I didn’t.”

“They really thought you were married?”

“Thought I was rich, too.”

“What sort of girl did they expect?”

“Why? You gonna dress like one next time you stop by?”

“If you’d like.”

Dick laughed, even as he begged, “Please don’t.”

“What did they think?” Slade asks, curious. He knows he cuts an imposing figure and he wanderers what they thought when he showed up, asking for DIck. “When they saw me?”

“Officer Johnson asked if ym wife knows I’m performing ssexual favors to a man three times my age.”

Slade grunts. “Fair,” he remarks.

Dick laughs. After a moment or so of silence as they sit on the couch and enjoy one another’s company, Dick asks,

“Did you come in the way you did, kiss me and say I love you, just because we were being watched?”

“Yes.”

“I figured.”

Slade shifts. “If any of them suspect I’m Deathstroke and give you shit for it-”

“Most of them are as dumb as bricks, they won’t figure it out.”

“Let me know. I’ll have a word with them.”

Dick rolled his eyes. “You absolutely will not.”

“I will if you want me to.”

“I don’t. I can handle myself.”

“Doesn't mean I don't want to protect you.”

Dick smiles. “It’s appreciated, Slade, thank you.”

Slade presses a kiss to his temple. “Any time, little bird.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know your thoughts!
> 
> Yes, the title is hella stupid but OMG you guys had SO MANY GOOD ONES!!!! I LOVED THEM ALL!! UGH!!! I only picked "Misunderstandings" to include because two people suggested it but ugh, they were all so great!


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